Intimacy is an important part of a relationship. For some, a relationship without intimacy is failing. Although, it is not always the case. Many people wonder what they did wrong to cause their partner not to want to be intimate anymore. It can be challenging for a person if your partner abruptly stops all intimacy.
Intimacy means different things to people; your partner can struggle with personal issues. Intimacy is not something they can focus on. But what to do when your partner doesn’t want to be intimate?
How can you support your partner's decision if you feel like you are lacking in the intimacy department? Some couples choose not to be intimate or have sex during their relationship. In contrast, other couples can only thrive when there is intimacy and sex in a relationship.
If you or your partner has lost interest in intimacy, it might not always mean your relationship is failing. It could be a sign that you must take some space to deal with intimacy issues. But what do you do in the meantime?
During this feature, we look at what intimacy is in a relationship and what to do when your partner doesn’t want to be intimate with you.
Let’s dive in.
What Is Intimacy in a Relationship?
One of the reasons why intimacy is essential in a relationship is because of what it symbolizes. Intimacy is not just about a physical connection but also the support and emotional connection it forms. Intimacy helps you feel a certain closeness to your partners. Without it, you can feel distant, which results in an unhealthy relationship.
But what is intimacy in a relationship?
An intimate relationship allows you to feel comfortable enough to share your experiences, feelings, and thoughts with your partner. If you are unable to do this, you might not have a strong enough intimate connection with your partner. You need to be open and able to talk about your innermost thoughts and emotions without fearing being vulnerable. Being able to let your partner in and share your aspirations and dreams is what can help your relationship last.
Intimacy in a relationship is not something that's just there. It needs to be built. It will require time and effort to get you to a point where your emotional intimacy is in a healthy space.
Sexual intimacy is what you get when you and your partner find a way to open your souls to each other when having sex or when you feel a deeper connection during sex. Although emotional and sexual intimacy is different, they both form intimacy in a relationship as a whole.
During times of hardship or crisis, intimacy is the glue that keeps you together and strong. When your intimacy starts dwindling, your relationship might start failing in difficulties.
Intimacy in a relationship is not the same type of intimacy you would have with family or friends, but a more profound, almost spiritual connection that binds people in love, care, and acceptance. Children might develop intimacy with their parents because they feel loved and accepted, as you should feel with your partner.
Intimacy can be seen in a healthy relationship where both partners become close and feel constant love, reassurance, and acceptance for who they are. It is essential to work on building a level of intimacy in your relationship to help you through the trials of life.
Is It Normal for Your Partner Not to Be Intimate?
Being intimate with your partner is different than having intimacy. Being intimate has more to do with the physical aspects of your relationship.
There are many valid reasons for your partner not to want to be intimate with you as they have in the past. Many of these reasons are not something you can fix but use your emotional intimacy to support and encourage your partner to deal with whatever might be bothering them.
But what could be making my partner less intimate with me?
The reasons may not all apply to your circumstances, but they might be some of the reasons why your partner is failing to be intimate.
- Tired
- Stressed
- Over-worked
- Feeling overwhelmed
- Bad hygiene
- Conflict
- Fear of pregnancy
- Guilt
These are some of the most common reasons your partner may not want to be intimate. The first thing you need to do is have a talk with them about what is going on. You need to support your partner's fears, worries, and circumstances. The only way to rectify a sexual intimacy problem is by being emotionally intimate.
It is essential to know that your partner might no longer feel that connection with you as they did in the beginning, so seeking outside help can only aid in fixing your relationship.
What To Do When Your Partner Doesn't Want To Be Intimate?
Next, we must look at what to do when your partner doesn’t want to be intimate. Sometimes it can be a family thing that will run its course in a few weeks, but that doesn’t mean you can not establish an intimate connection with yourself in the meantime. In other instances, your partner might have deeper-rooted issues that are making intimacy hard.
But that is where I come in. When you start losing that intimate connection, it is normal for you to start looking for what to do when your partner doesn’t want to be intimate. This is why I have added a few tips to help you figure out how to establish that connection again.
1. Talk About It
Sometimes when there is a huge issue in a relationship, the partners figure out that if they had just spoken about it beforehand, the issue would never have gotten this big. If you open up to your partner about how you are feeling, a larger problem might be avoided. Suppose you show that you want to support them in whatever they are dealing with and help them through it. In that case, they might open up about what it is that is causing them not to be intimate anymore. To fix something, you need to find the root of the problem.
2. Counselling
Seeking professional help is never a sign of weakness or a bad idea. It is not a place to air your dirty laundry but rather a safe space to get wisdom on how to handle a situation. There are so many options for couples counseling, and many couples think you need to be married to try it out.
3. No Blame
When talking about your intimacy issues, try not to assign any blame to your partner. Rather, open up and listen to their side of the argument or issue and try to fix the problem instead of finding someone to blame.
4. Discuss Kinks
Sometimes, when intimacy reaches a certain level, your partner may start to feel like they want to share some fetishes they have. This can halt intimacy if they do not feel comfortable sharing these bedroom kinks with you. Be sure to be open about your kinks, ask them what they would like differently, and assure them that their kinks do not bother you.
5. Work on Your Emotional Intimacy
Take time in your day to spend quality time with your partner and deepen the emotional connection. When you have comfortable emotional intimacy, your sexual intimacy will automatically get better.
6. Respect
Always respect your partner. Respect their decision when they do not want to be intimate with you. When you do not respect your partner's decision, they might feel like you do not love them for who they are but only for the sexual pleasure, they give you.
Final Thoughts
We all know that intimacy is important in a relationship, but respecting your partner's decision on physical intimacy should be a priority.
If you notice that your partner does not want to be intimate with you anymore, it does not always mean that they do not want to have sex with you. There could be things in their life that are making it hard for them to focus on the intimacy of your relationship.
Now that you know what intimacy is in a relationship, you can work on both aspects of intimacy daily.
A healthy relationship requires sacrifice from both of you, and sometimes you need to focus on helping support your partner before you can return to your normal intimate moments.
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